There is a temptation as parents to think we haven’t got what it takes.
Or maybe we feel we have what it takes, but we’ve just lost the ability to get through to our kids. Our influence isn’t what it used to be.
Or maybe we have grand desires but the time to invest in our kids or our family is incredibly hard to come by. There is just simply too much going on.
The truth is you have everything you need to be successful as a parent! Still, many of us don’t feel this is true in our daily lives. We are like the person staring blankly into a closet full of clothes and proclaiming, “I have nothing wear!”
I imagine as my daughters grow older I will have many moments where I survey the situation and go, “I have nothing to wear” – I have no idea how to respond to this situation or to how to decide the best course of action in this moment. I remember feeling this way when they were first born. I remember feeling this way last week. I’m positive I will feel this way in the future. That being said, I also think this whole thing is overblown. Were my parents perfect…not a chance. Were your parents…I doubt it. The reality is kids do not need a perfect parent. I think kids actually need a broken parent.
Being the Broken Parent a Kid Needs
Here’s what I mean by that. We are all broken – you, your kids, your parents, your spouse. The best thing for our kids is for us to own up to this fact.
When we own up to our brokenness we give our kids a front row seat to God’s activity in our lives. Our kids don’t need to see us be perfect to be the kind of human beings we want them to grow up to be, but they do need to see us admit our mistakes, own our weaknesses, seek relationship, submit to God, and GROW! They need to see God’s redemptive activity in our lives taking what’s broken and making it new.
So let’s make this simple. You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to measure up to whatever comparisons are out there. You simply need to be willing to grow – to be the person God is calling you to be. It looks more like surrender than striving. It’s a matter of being willing to engage more than being an expert. I love this quote from Brene Brown,
“Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.”
Forget what you know about parenting, who are you becoming? How are you engaging the world around you? How are you growing and seeking relationship?
“Faith is caught more than it is taught” is an absolutely true saying. Let’s give our kids a front row seat to God taking us, broken people, and accomplishing great things that we could never do on our own. The world has a way of getting us searching – thinking that we need what we are already have! But, I promise you this…You have everything you need to be a great parent!! Now, just lean in, engage and watch God do what He does best!