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Category: Family time (Page 2 of 6)

Get Some Rest

May 12, 2016 / / 0 Comments

I imagine you could use some rest.

I’ve had a goal for the last several years, but I’ve rarely lived into it. The goal: Get up early, before the kids wake up, and start the day off right. However, it’s more likely that I snooze the alarm, wake up to the baby monitor and live the rest of my day on that day’s terms. Or, to say it another way…I’m in reaction mode.

We’ve all been there.
We react to the baby monitor.
Then we react to the kids morning routine.
Then it’s off to work, carpools, dinner, bed time routine…and on it goes.

I’m rarely ahead of myself on these day and I’m typically just making it all up as I go. Wait, did I eat breakfast?

REACTION VS. REST

I recently heard Jon Tyson, Pastor of Trinity Grace Church in NYC, share something I’d never thought about before. He pointed out that in creation God created man on the 6th day. He created man with a job to do. He gave man dominion over everything in the garden — he was to take care of and steward the creation.

So Adam wakes up on the 7th day eager and ready to get start making things happen and God says, “Not today. Today is a day for rest.”

When Adam eventually did start his work, he started from a place of rest.

WE’VE GOT IT BACKWARDS

We do this backwards – we work and then collapse in exhaustion. We don’t stop to rest, eventually our body just forces us to rest.

Imagine starting your day or week off from a place of rest. I have no doubt I would be a better parent. The few times I have actually gotten up early, spent time with Jesus and coffee – I greet my waking kids with a attentive presence, with joy, and a better handle on how I can encourage them for the day.

(Now, I just need to get to bed at a decent time…)

Whether you are a believer or not, there is something incredibly compelling about the Christian idea of Sabbath. What would it look like for you to schedule rest into your busy, hectic life? What would it take for you to do this?  Can you allow yourself to not be “productive” for a period of time and just be present?

One of the things that Sabbath reminds us is that we are worth more than what we create. That we have inherent value. That we can shut things down for a time and enjoy, study, spend time with family, get outside, or just sit and relax on the porch while watching the kids be free to play.

I imagine you could use some rest.

You have my permission to take time to get it.

6 Things Over Time Every Kid Needs

April 13, 2016 / / 0 Comments

pexels-photo

“What you do this week matters.”

Last week, we set up this conversation to look at how we can better navigate this thing called life. While we can’t be prepared for everything (and this is actually a gift!), we can take a look at how we strategically invest in our sons or daughters over time to make an impact.  (Read last week’s post, Prepare to Be Unprepared here.)

As mentioned, the basic idea stems from a number and a scripture:

From the time a child is born you have 936 weeks until they graduate high school.

“Teach us to number our days, so that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Ps 90:12

What we do over time cultivates what matters in the hearts of our children.

Whatever matters, will matter more over time.

Orange identified 6 things we can strategically focus on over time to influence and cultivate the hearts of our children. I’ll briefly outline the concept and then highlight a key habit to help us along the way.

TIME OVER TIME

It takes TIME over TIME to make a history worth repeating.

Habit: Visualize Time.
Imagine if you put 936 marbles in a jar the day your child is born.
Now imagine that each week you take one out.

How might this affect the way you parent your child?

On the one hand, you will realize time matters and you only have so much time to work with. If you kids is 9 years old, you will realize you’ve already lost half your marbles!

On the other hand, you realize that you have a significant amount of time to influence your child and you might just get excited about how you can do that this week! It takes the pressure off everything happening in a moment!

“When you see how much TIME you have left, you tend to do more with the TIME you have now.”

LOVE OVER TIME

Love over time is the one thing that matters most.

Habit:  Prove it!
“It’s really pretty simple.  When we show up and make rules, we prove to them we care.  When they break the rules and we show up anyway, we prove to them we still care.  We prove to them they have worth, and we are committed to them even when it’s difficult, inconvenient, and messy.”

There are days we don’t really like our kids.  Days we don’t want to wade into the mess.  Love over time shows them their self-worth.  It helps them understand a God of unconditional love.  It invites them to love others.  If you do nothing else, show your kids you love them over time.

WORDS OVER TIME

WORDS over TIME can impact someone’s direction in life.

Habit:  Expand your vocabulary.
A few words can make a big difference in the direction of someone’s life.

I’ve seen people who do this well – when they speak, their words give life.  Has your teen tuned you out?  Maybe it’s time to change the language and expand your vocabulary, but don’t doubt that your words have power.

When’s the last time your really encouraged your son or daughter.  Try one of these this week – I remember when…, I have noticed…, I hope you know…, I’m really glad…., I’ve been thinking…

STORIES OVER TIME

STORIES over TIME move us to imagine a world beyond ourselves.

Habit:  Amplify the story.
“Every week, you have an opportunity to tell the story to the next generation in a way that will captivate their imagination and move them not only to fall in love with the story itself, but to fall in love with the God who created the story and who was has invited them to be a part of it.”

What stories are you telling?  What stories are you creating?  What stories are worth re-telling?  Just like a great movie, you have the opportunity over time to invite your kids into God’s larger story!

TRIBES OVER TIME

TRIBES over TIME show us how we belong.

Habit:  Go in Circles.
“If kids need to connect in tribes (community) over time in order to understand how they belong, we as parents need to be intentional about how we create circles that will make them feel like they are part of a tribe.”

We all have heard the benefits of eating a meal together.  Well, here it is again.  Eat a meal as a family.  Invite key people over for meals.  Enjoy and help them experience the richness of community.

FUN OVER TIME

FUN over TIME makes a friendship go deeper.

Habit:  Make it Fun.
“You show them you care when you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to just have fun.  So loosen up.”

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.”  There really is a lot packed into that little scripture.  Go have some fun this week!

 

Now, that you’ve heard these six concepts, what key concepts are you already doing well?
Do you see how this isn’t now or never, but you can build something over time?
How does this change your perspective on how you parent this week?

Want to further explore these ideas, here’s the book to help:  Playing for Keeps: 6 Things Every Kid Needs

Practical Ideas to Help Your Child Become the Adult You Want Them to Become

November 6, 2015 / / 0 Comments

Looking for something practical you can do invest in your child’s life?

Last post, Play the Long Game, I discussed the importance of having a long term perspective in parenting and introduced the concept of “Imagine the End” from our friends at Orange.  With that in mind, we want to give you some very practical ideas you can implement this month to help foster that growth in your children.

As a parent, it can be heart-breaking to think ahead to the day when your child packs up his room and leaves your house, to (hopefully) at least return for the holidays. At that moment, everything you have taught, modeled, and encouraged will be put to the test in the real world. That’s why it’s never too early to begin laying the foundation for the kind of adult you hope your child will grow into and the kind of relationship you hope to have after all the cheerio-smashing, music-blaring, curfew-breaking years have passed. Here are a few ideas to get you started…

Show Compassion.
“Compassion for others” is probably high on the list of qualities you want your child to have. And what better place to start than with an organization named exactly that? Compassion International is an incredible organization for you to use as a tool to teach your children about serving and loving others. Spend some time researching an organization as a family and decide on a way you will help this month!

Keep A Secret.
Imagine your kids becoming people who think of others more than themselves. Interested? At your next family dinner, ask this question: Who do you know that needs a little extra help or attention this month? Then think of one person (a family member, neighbor, friend, classmate, peer, etc.) per family member. But don’t let anyone outside the family know what’s up! Plan together and then check back in throughout the month to see how each family member is serving his or her secret person.

Bake A Tradition.
Traditions make a family a family (well, traditions and embarrassing photos – all denim photos anyone??). This month, pass on a family tradition by working together to make a dessert that grandma or a favorite family member makes. As you eat your dessert, talk about the importance of family and how sweet your favorite traditions are!

Mail A Letter.
Get your kids in the habit of “writing home” this month by giving each person in your family three notecards, envelops and stamps. Have each person pick three people who serve them well and write or draw a picture to say “thank you for how you serve me.” Talk about what you wrote as a family and send your notes in the “snail mail”!

Guess Who.
Bring serving home this month by encouraging your family members to serve one another. Put every family member’s name on a piece of paper. Then, draw names and keep it a secret. Challenge each family member to make their secret person a priority and make them feel special. At the end of the month try and guess who each person’s secret person was.

Not all of these will work for you  and maybe you have a better idea!  If so, go for it.  The goal is to begin to think about what you can do NOW in the time where you have your children under your roof to prepare them for the FUTURE under their own roof.

You only have so much time, but it’s amazing what you can do when you do intentional things over time!  What are you waiting for!?  Today is a great day to influence the next generation.

 

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