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You Are Changing Your Brain and You May Not Know It

Just a head’s up – this post talks about the ways porn changes your brain.  It also talks about the way scripture and prayer changes your brain.  Basically how you live, your choices, your experiences, your habits…etc. are all changing your brain and affecting who you are becoming.  I hope you’re paying attention.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12: 2

God changes your brain.
I remember first reading about this idea several years ago in a book by Mark Batterson.  There has been tons of great research on neuroplasticity – the ability of the brain to change – and I was fascinated when Mark suggested that by reading scripture we are physically rewiring our brain with the thoughts of God.  He even suggested that this could  be a very real way that Romans 12:2 is played out in our lives – reading Scripture and sending those messages through our brains is physically rewiring them and therefore “renewing our minds”.  Since then, I’ve seen this play out in my life as I noticed my negative or debilitating thought patterns and habits and sought to fight them with truth from Scripture.  God changes your brain.

Pornography changes your brain.
In my work with students, I’ve also noticed the prevalence of consistent pornography usage among teens.  They don’t know it, but this consistent viewing is changing their brains.  Follow this natural progression:  When a student is bored or lonely (both experiences are heightened for today’s teenagers in our social media/comparison world) they are longing for connection.  Pornography is easy to access and offers a false, but temporarily satisfying, sense of connection.  They view it and dopamine rushes through the brain.  They repeat the pattern and eventually the brain has been hardwired to seek pornography when the student feels bored or lonely.  Their first thought/instinct when they are bored or lonely will be to look at porn.  Pornography changes your brain.

 

There is a lot to say on both of these topics, but I would invite you to read these two articles.  They are simple, but give some great food for thought.

Both of these articles talk about activities that change your brain.  Both of these things have the power to change us fundamentally.  Both of these things are easy for you to access at this moment.  Both are easy for you son or daughter to access at this moment.

Parents, these could be great conversation starters for your child.  It could be interesting to read them both to them and ask them what they think.  Ask them if they knew porn had such negative effects.  Ask them if they are surprised that our brains respond to God in this way.

(you can see more about the effects of porn on your brain, heart, and society over at fightthenewdrug.org )

So, here’s the articles…

Article 1 – Porn Changes the Brain

Article 2 – How Your Brain is Wired for God

Seriously, read them…they’re short.  But in case you really don’t have the time…here are a few highlights:

ARTICLE 1

Quick Synopsis:  Neurons that fire together, wire together.  Just like other addictive substances, porn floods the brain with dopamine. That rush of brain chemicals happening over and over again rewires the brain’s reward pathway ultimately changing the make up of the viewer’s brain. This can result in an increased appetite for porn.

Yep, you read that right. Porn physically changes your brain.

A neuron is a brain cell, and when brain cells get activated at the same time by something you see or hear or smell or whatever, they release chemicals that help strengthen the connection between those neurons. [3] For example, when you eat something delicious, your brain releases dopamine, a chemical that makes you feel good. [4] Or if you hold hands with someone you care about, your brain releases a chemical called oxytocin, which helps you bond with people. [5]

Just like other addictive substances, porn floods the brain with dopamine. [7] But since the brain gets overwhelmed by the constant overload of chemicals that comes with consistent porn use, it fights back by taking away some of its dopamine receptors [8]—which are like tiny ears on the end of a neuron that hear dopamine’s message.

With fewer receptors, even if the brain is putting off the same levels of dopamine in response to porn, the user can’t feel dopamine’s effect as much. [9] As a result, the porn they were looking at doesn’t seem as arousing or exciting, and many porn users go hunting for more porn or more hardcore porn to get the effect the old porn used to offer. [10]

And here’s the really scary part: the more porn a person looks at, the more severe the damage to their brain becomes and the more difficult it is to break free. [17] But there’s good news too: neuroplasticity works both ways. That means that the damage to the brain can be undone when someone gets away from unhealthy behaviors.

ARTICLE 2

Scientists have been looking for a spot in the brain that corresponds with God. After all, there’s a place in your brain responsible for vision, language, memory and anger. Couldn’t there be a neurological God spot?

Our insights into how the brain works have gotten much more sophisticated in the last decade thanks to the emergence of new tools to image living brains. We have machines now that let us watch living brains in three dimensions without surgery or autopsy. This technology allows brain scientists to study believers as they pray, meditate, worship and experience God.

This research shows that there is no God spot. God doesn’t simply move into a spot in our brains—God redecorates. Believers have a complex, rich network in their brains for God. For the devout, God is not just an idea, but a tapestry of feelings and experiences. This network affects how our brains work at fundamental levels.

People who regularly focus on God’s love through prayer and meditation change. They experience less stress, and they even experience a reduction in blood pressure. Their prefrontal cortex, the part of their brain associated with focus and attention, becomes more active over time, helping them avoid distraction and be more intentional.

They also have more activity in their anterior cingulate cortex. That’s the part of our brain associated with love, compassion and empathy. Focusing on God’s love makes us more loving and less angry. It’s easier for us to forgive ourselves and others.

Science tells us that there is tremendous power in prayer. God will be most active and transforming in your brain if you pray for 30 minutes per day, at least four days per week. If you’ve ever wondered how to be closer to God, or why your walk with God is difficult, science says the answer is prayer.

Are our brains wired for God? Not only does science support the idea, but it also shows us that belief in God and an active prayer life can make us healthier, happier people who do good in the world.

Practical Ideas to Help Your Child Become the Adult You Want Them to Become

Looking for something practical you can do invest in your child’s life?

Last post, Play the Long Game, I discussed the importance of having a long term perspective in parenting and introduced the concept of “Imagine the End” from our friends at Orange.  With that in mind, we want to give you some very practical ideas you can implement this month to help foster that growth in your children.

As a parent, it can be heart-breaking to think ahead to the day when your child packs up his room and leaves your house, to (hopefully) at least return for the holidays. At that moment, everything you have taught, modeled, and encouraged will be put to the test in the real world. That’s why it’s never too early to begin laying the foundation for the kind of adult you hope your child will grow into and the kind of relationship you hope to have after all the cheerio-smashing, music-blaring, curfew-breaking years have passed. Here are a few ideas to get you started…

Show Compassion.
“Compassion for others” is probably high on the list of qualities you want your child to have. And what better place to start than with an organization named exactly that? Compassion International is an incredible organization for you to use as a tool to teach your children about serving and loving others. Spend some time researching an organization as a family and decide on a way you will help this month!

Keep A Secret.
Imagine your kids becoming people who think of others more than themselves. Interested? At your next family dinner, ask this question: Who do you know that needs a little extra help or attention this month? Then think of one person (a family member, neighbor, friend, classmate, peer, etc.) per family member. But don’t let anyone outside the family know what’s up! Plan together and then check back in throughout the month to see how each family member is serving his or her secret person.

Bake A Tradition.
Traditions make a family a family (well, traditions and embarrassing photos – all denim photos anyone??). This month, pass on a family tradition by working together to make a dessert that grandma or a favorite family member makes. As you eat your dessert, talk about the importance of family and how sweet your favorite traditions are!

Mail A Letter.
Get your kids in the habit of “writing home” this month by giving each person in your family three notecards, envelops and stamps. Have each person pick three people who serve them well and write or draw a picture to say “thank you for how you serve me.” Talk about what you wrote as a family and send your notes in the “snail mail”!

Guess Who.
Bring serving home this month by encouraging your family members to serve one another. Put every family member’s name on a piece of paper. Then, draw names and keep it a secret. Challenge each family member to make their secret person a priority and make them feel special. At the end of the month try and guess who each person’s secret person was.

Not all of these will work for you  and maybe you have a better idea!  If so, go for it.  The goal is to begin to think about what you can do NOW in the time where you have your children under your roof to prepare them for the FUTURE under their own roof.

You only have so much time, but it’s amazing what you can do when you do intentional things over time!  What are you waiting for!?  Today is a great day to influence the next generation.

 

Play the Long Game

Why do we have such a hard time sticking with what we know will be better in the long run instead of sacrificing the greater good for a short term gain?

We cheat on our diets, we make the impulse buy, or we allow our child to watch TV for way too long because, frankly, there’s no other option.

In parenting, this shows up in a lot of places – discipline, moral development, spiritual development, helping them become adults, etc.  We know what we want, but we never quite get around to executing it like we would like to.  We have a vague vision of our hopes for the future, but we really are at a loss for what to do in the short term to get there.

IT’S YOUR BRAIN’S FAULT

Neuroscience lets us know that when we give in for a small gain in the short term we get a dopamine hit.  And it feels good.  Our biology likes it.  Sure, the greater good or level of intention or ultimate goal might have been sacrificed, but honestly if the bribe got me out of that embarrassing moment with my kid, I’ll deal with the consequences later (sound familiar to anyone?).   This is the curse of lawnmower parents – those that can’t stand to see their child experience anything negative in the short term, but don’t realize the way they are jeopardizing their child’s future.  But at least they got their dopamine fix!

Here’s the deal – our biology is not set up for success.  It’s just not.  It’s set up for survival.  Our biology is drawn to the dopamine drug we get when we do something in the short term that feels good.  We go back for more and  we cheat, we sacrifice, we compromise, we give in.   So, how do we break free from the survival mode our brains often are drawn to?

 

“Here’s the paradox:

Easy short term choices lead to difficult long term consequences.  Difficult short term choices lead to easy long term consequences.

But (those who have broken free) have realized that procrastination and indulgence are like these creditors that charge us interest…it ultimately creates the more difficult life.”

 

Rory Vaden – Take the Stairs

PLAYING THE LONG GAME

Again from Rory, “It’s not we struggle as much from a lack of discipline as much as it is we struggle from a lack of vision.  The amount of our endurance is directly proportionate to the clarity of our vision.”

In order to play the long game we have to have a vision of the future.  We use the phrase “imagine the end” to help with this process.  Imagine your child at 18.  If our goal is to create mature, Jesus-following adults by the time they leave our care, then that will require certain actions in the short term to create the desired outcome in the long term.  What do you hope they understand or who do you hope they are becoming?  Or maybe just imagine your child at the end of the current phase of life – who you hope they will be at the end of elementary or middle school years.  Whatever will help you create a vision.

Once the vision is there, we will have the endurance to stay the course and follow through in the difficult daily grind of parenting.  When we create the vision of the future, we realize the sacrifices of today move us toward the future we care about.   Our ability to be disciplined will kick in naturally and override those survival instincts.

So, here’s a simple invitation to take the time to “imagine the end”.  What is it you desire for your child?  What steps will it take to get there?  What small ways have you been sacrificing the long game for a short term fix?  How can you make some small, difficult decisions today that will lead to a better future?

 

Two Related Posts:  Don’t Give In!  and   Fight Your Instincts

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